@cervixsmash: Tell someone you love them today because life is short. But SHOUT it at them in German because life is also terrifying and confusing
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@SteveSackington: If you say "cash money" around me, Don't act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
@CakeThrottle: Garfield creator breaks silence to give impassioned speech. "It's pronounced Jarfield" he says through tears
@KeepsItRustic: Someone praising you is also someone being judgmental. The difference is that you like the verdict this time.
@iSamJack: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.