@slimmy_shady: Tell the barista your name is Beetlejuice and quietly walk out.
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@Maxine12333: Neighbor asked me over for coffee and said 'make yourself comfortable', so I did, I went home.
@juliussharpe: Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?
@GoddessTitty: [Home invasion] Me: isn't there anything ELSE you want to take? Burglar: lady I told you I'm married