@GrumpyyCat: Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.
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@TimmyPumpkin: dorothy: WET TSHIRT CONTEST! wicked witch: NOOOOOOOOO! tin man: worst spring break ever.
@Jackson5toLife: Why roboticize vacuuming? It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning.
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.
@PhoenixRises69: It makes me sad that the closest I'll ever get to 'hulking out' is splitting my trousers when I bend over.