@copymama: Telling a mom to relax while her family does everything on Mother’s Day is like telling a pilot to relax while the passengers fly the plane.
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@EndhooS: Cop: can u describe your attacker Me: super aggressive, with a big nose & powerful arms Cop: u just described a seagull Me: he took my chips
@ProdigyNelson: Me: hey girl r u an earthquake Her: aw bc I rock ur world? Me: no bc your unpredictability threatens the entire foundation of my existence
@charmfoz: If you have 6+ numbers after your name as part of your Twitter handle I can only assume you're an inmate & tweeting from prison.