@CornOnTheGoblin: [telling a scary story to a group of moths] and when she opened the door..[holds flashlight to face] she- AH GET OFF OF ME YOU GUYS
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@WilliamAder: One more missile failure and the Acme Corp. is going to lose that North Korea contract.
@chagger73: Going down on a woman is the best. The way her thighs cover your ears so you can finally get some quiet time...
@heyevergreen: Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Walk around the party eating the cheeseball like an apple.