@spazrunsny: Telling a woman she's being unreasonable is like juggling lit torches while waist deep in gun powder.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: may your fathers prosper. may your friends be uglier than you. may your exes get food poisoning
@GrumpyBahr: Preacher: God's love is unconditional! Me: Then why is there a hell? Preacher:...... Me: Your move.
@markleggett: Stop complaining about the length of the Hobbit movies. Plays are 17 hours long. School plays are twice that.