@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
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@superdadatron: *Opens fridge *Sees chocolate bar with a note "please don't eat me". *Eats chocolate bar Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?
@TheAlexP: Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell "Thank You "just to leave them hanging.
@bombscribe: If a coworker has two apples in his right hand and two oranges in his left hand, what does he have? No chance of blocking an uppercut.