@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
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@joshgondelman: I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is.
@philyuck: I just told my dog to "say hi" to another dog. And yes, I realize that's crazy; this chihuahua obviously only speaks Spanish.
@wheresthesnacks: After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die.
@OutrageousM: I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober.