@edgarrants: Telling my wife I'm taking her someplace fancy is my way of getting 4 hours to myself while she gets ready.
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@mountainlex: I'm always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
@Yair_Rosenberg: Twitter makes possible so many amazing things we couldn't do before. Like trolling the Nazis:
@wendyraepearce: I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He's going to pay for that later.