@ThatDudeF: Telling our kids we were born before the Internet is going to be the new 'I walked to school in the snow without shoes'
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@SarahFemme: The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother.
@Black__Elvis: I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light.
@PaperWash: vampire waiter: would you like to order? customer: I'll have a steak vampire waiter: [sweating nervously] what...wuddya need a stake for?