@proEXgirlfriend: Telling people to ban same sex marriage cuz of your religion is like telling the supermarket to stop selling junk food cuz you're on a diet.
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@mbnels: Tech guy says: "When in doubt reboot. " Okay, I've rebooted but i still don't see how my boots have ANYTHING to do with a computer.
@Spaziotwat: [On The Cross] Jesus:"Father, forgive them, fore they know no-" Voice from the crowd:"DO THE WINE TRICK"
@mrbuster60: "My uncle is a dead person guy". Me last night when I couldn't think of the word mortician
@Jason_Horton: People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it