@alisha_foley: Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better.
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@causticbob: All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!
@TheToddWilliams: [restaurant] ME: Excuse me, this alphabet soup tastes funny WAITER: Well it is Comic Sans
@captainkalvis: DATE her: i just wish our relationship was a little more... spontaneous me (holding a lighter to the table cloth): ive got just the thing
@AntozWolf: Give a man fish and you'll feed him for a day...... Give a fish a man and you're probably in the Mafia