@ShanaRose21: Telling someone "You are not alone" can be either extremely comforting or absolutely creepy depending on the context.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
@Manda_like_wine: When Wall-E first came out I was like "'what a profound statement" and now, a few years older, I'm like "gimme one of those sick chairs."
@DurtMcHurtt: [first day as a pharmacist] CUSTOMER: the antacid I took isn't working. ME: *leans in close* that's cuz you're not an ant..
@Carbosly: Me blacking out when I'm drunk is God's way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.