@meganamram: Ten out of one women is a Russian Nesting Doll
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@thesulk: Just picked up an unknown call with a "Hello?" An old woman said "Joan?" So, I can cross "mistaken for a Joan" off the bucket list.
@PJTLynch: Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!
@Lisa_Laughs_: He said there was no spark between us, so I tazed him. I'll ask again when he wakes up.
@nettie0918: That moment the school calls because 15 was caught drinking at school and it's still the same principal that had to call your parents.