@tree_bro: "Tens of Thousands of Ants Killed", reads the headline of Ant Daily newspaper every single day. It is hard to be an ant.
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@byrdie_num_num: My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'.
@TheMichaelRock: All I did was compliment a coworker on their fantastic mustache, and now I'm in HR's office. Thanks a lot, Megan!
@TheToddWilliams: [chef interview] BOSS: Are you familiar with kitchen jargon ME: Yeah, that means you're missing a jar