@tree_bro: "Tens of Thousands of Ants Killed", reads the headline of Ant Daily newspaper every single day. It is hard to be an ant.
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@trevso_electric: I got this "breathe" tattoo on my wrist because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
@ValeeGrrl: 7yo: MOMMA DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET A 6-PACK OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA BE FAT Me: *slowly shreds Pokémon cards w/out breaking eye contact*
@thatdutchperson: Maybe cats always look like they're planning our demise because we keep calling them things like mrs snugglepaws the second
@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: The "eye roll" was created by Eve in the Garden of Eden within 15 min of her first conversation with Adam.