@BDGarp: Terrify your parents by answering your cellphone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnHilsen: Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg.
@SqueakyFreckles: This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl.
@JennyPentland: 10yo: When in doubt, albatrout. Me: What the hell is albatrout? That's not real. 10yo: Now you're in doubt! Me: But… 10yo: ALBATROUT