@Parentpains: Apparently "I'll break your god damn legs" isn't the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
@Mr_Kapowski: A coworker sent me an instant message mistakenly typing "The cloak stopped working" to which I responded "OMG you can see me?!"
@KalvinMacleod: ME: ur more likely to get hit by lightning than eaten by a shark
SHARK: [biting my torso] today's your lucky day
ME: *gets hit by lightning*
@garbagecoven: *voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato
*friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something
@iwearaonesie: *wanders around an office I don’t work at because someone held the door open for me when I was walking by and I didn’t want to be rude*
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