@weinerdog4life: Terrorist Threat Level: Porcupine
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@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus #GoodFriday
@SortaBad: If I lost a leg in an accident the worst part would be never being able to flush a public toilet again
@NurseMurderer: him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses.