@weinerdog4life: Terrorist Threat Level: Porcupine
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@Underchilde: My neighbor said the next time he comes over he’s bringing the whole family, so I told him I couldn’t wait and then I burned my house down.
@LeonEarlgrey: Necessity is the mother of invention, and the wife of bill. Bill is the only one in the family with a normal name.
@Petote: BF went to text me "almost there" It came out "almost dead" So hungover, I wrote back "thank god" And now he arrived and things are awkward