@weinerdog4life: Terrorist Threat Level: Porcupine
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@MouthOfSass: Just found some clothes my ex left here. Perfect timing since I'm out of toilet paper.
@brunopieroni: "Ok, guys, before you start calling me a pervert, let me just say I found a great source of protein." — The first guy who ever milked a cow.
@Stella1070: Started the mower for the 1st time this year.36 pulls & then I passed out.When I came to, yard had crop circles & the beagle had a mohawk.
@dyldonot: Baa! "My name is--" Moo! "My name is--" Neigh! "My name is *chickenchicken* Slim Shady." -Eminem at a farm.