@weinerdog4life: Terrorist Threat Level: Porcupine
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@DanMentos: My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder.
@CarolinaSong: I'll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I'm trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
@DaddyJew: If you had a choice between owning a dragon or world peace, what would you name your dragon?
@mstluvstrinkets: On our way to husbands vasectomy he asks *do you think they'll want me to remove my socks?*. I don't know what he thinks is about to happen.