@Mikecanrant: Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
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@MUMSIEesq: Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable.
@causticbob: At a job interview "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker" "Can you give me an example?" "Yes, when do I start?"
@samuelhlowe: When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.