@MsLighthouseCat: Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken.
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@therealeatwood: Day 1: injected self with mouse DNA Day 2: ate 12 blocks of cheese Day 3: 15 blocks Day 4: experiment is failure; no observable changes
@torrami: When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever.
@brittwastaken: I see you from across the room and falter. My breath catches as my pupils dilate with desire. You, a muffin, remain motionless.
@comfynumb2012: Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle.