@Ivsy01: Text: ARE YOU ALIVE? Me: Why?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@aecide: Saw my neighbor in a peeing contest with his dog on his porch. My mum said there'd be days like this but she never said there'd be so many.
@flashember: SON: Is it true trees kill more people than wild animals do? [tree hiding in broom closet tenses up] DAD: Nonsense. [tree sighs in relief]
@vladchoc: Nice try, theatre ad. But some of us don't need to put our phones on silent, for we have prevented calls with our deplorable personalities.