@Ivsy01: Text: ARE YOU ALIVE? Me: Why?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tommytoughstuff: [High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? "No" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!
@AmberDonn: The main reason I lost my virginity was to ensure I wouldn't be sacrificed anytime soon.
@juneohara65: Doctor, reaching for a piece of paper: "Are you on any meds?" Me: "You might want to grab a notebook."
@domesticH: wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!