@Ivsy01: Text: ARE YOU ALIVE? Me: Why?
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@batkaren: [Cretaceous Period] T-REX: *eating pterodactyl, sad* I just wish it were meatier... DRUNK GUARDIAN ANGEL: A meteor? Tha's weird but ok 1 sec
@Marilyn_Brando: *grandpa walks in with a bearded man in a plaid shirt & skinny jeans* "uhh grandpa who's that?" "my hip replacement"
@AimeeHelene1: At my funeral, I want them to play "Thriller" and have someone that looks like me climb out of a casket, dancing. (wins at death)