@suz1973luq: Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
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@shariv67: I was bitten by a radioactive vegan, and now I have the power to bore people to death.
@dysalexia: Pulled out all of my eyelashes so I can make more wishes. 1st wish: MONEY! 2nd wish: FRIENDS! 3rd wish: eyelashes :(
@AnAverageGiant: Today I had a mild panic attack over the fact I will die someday. Then I bought some shit on Amazon. Your mom is a hermaphrodite.
@JoleenDoreen: When you get to Customs and they ask if you have anything to declare, "Thumb War" is not the answer they were looking for.