@suz1973luq: Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
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@stephenjmolloy: [Awards ceremony] "And winner of 'The Most Unusual Name of the Year' goes to... drum roll please..." Drumroll Please: "Thanks so much!"
@Flattliner: I don't have a friend called Louise. If I did I would always be saying "Jeez Louise" to her. Then I wouldn't have a friend called Louise.
@UncleDuke1969: "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?" "No." "Why not, sir?" "Because, it would make my rabbi sad."