@suz1973luq: Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
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@Reverend_Scott: Prince: Rapunzel, let down your hair. Rapunzel: Hair, you'll never be beautiful, you'll always have split ends. *hair is super let down*
@hazelmotes1: This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES
@mishakey: I was telling this chick how I almost died during childbirth and she asked me when I'm having another one. I SAID I ALMOST DIED, CRAZY LADY.
@bobvulfov: [posing nude] ME: make sure to capture all of my body's contours DMV GUY: again, this is entirely inappropriate for a license photo