@rickolantern: Text is the perfect way of saying I have some information I need to give you but I in no way shape or form want to hear your voice
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@Mr_Kapowski: Hi, I'm Zack. You might remember me from HR meetings such as, "We Don't Even Need to Watch the Security Tape to Know It Was You"
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: My computer broke IT guy: What have you tried so far? Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing