@rickolantern: Text is the perfect way of saying I have some information I need to give you but I in no way shape or form want to hear your voice
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@iliezabeth: ALIEN:*points at Chihuahua* whats that? ME: a dog ALIEN:*points at Husky* whats that? ME: dog ALIEN:*getting angry, points at Pug* whats THA
@Vodkantots: Did you know that you can get kicked out of a gym for using a laser to point out areas people should work on? Well, you can.
@KentWGraham: Wife snake: Did you eat the last rat? Husband snake (shape of rat in stomach): What rat?