@rickolantern: Text is the perfect way of saying I have some information I need to give you but I in no way shape or form want to hear your voice
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@SamuelHLowe: Aliens must know that we're an easily conquerable race if they've ever seen us try to cancel a printer job.
@ginger_xtc: build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
@HatfieldAnne: Before you start your artisanal candle business ask yourself: does the world need one more lychee-scented soy candle? Or even one?