@Capt_Spanky: Text to wife: "Would you bring me my " and my phone suggests "girlfriend." My phone is trying to kill me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Bownuggets: Goodnight moon, goodnight stars, goodnight perfectly normal Purple Rain album cover where Prince's eyes follow u across the room
@Bob_Janke: If you spend "up to $9000" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by.