@GreenishDuck: Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.
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@lasergirl70: The rose petal scene from American Beauty, but just me naked and covered in candy wrappers.
@AKATriple: To the first two people who thought Superman was a bird or plane... why the hell were you so excited?
@Rich_McCarthy: Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife "promised" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid.
@mishakey: Him: Get on my level. Me: You're a gamer? Him: .... Me: .... Him: You need to get out more. Me: *mumbles* Your face needs to get out more.