@mistakentweets: Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ideal_Victoria: Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*
@bellicosejason: I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough.
@walruslifestyle: you cannot glue a tomato back together with tomato paste believe me I've tried
@mofrorock: "Nice legs" *Swipes right* "Nice legs" *Swipes right* "Nice legs" *Swipes right* "Nice legs" *Swipes right* - Spider tinder