@mistakentweets: Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone.
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@MatCro: I'll never forget my grandad's last words on his deathbed. He said: "I should never have bought this deathbed. Asking for trouble..."
@UnFitz: Some cultures fear that when someone takes your photograph they steal your soul. You should be fine, though.
@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.
@DanMentos: "I got expelled" How? "I wrote 2+2=41 on the whiteboard" Ok that's dumb but- "So my prof told me to go back up there…" Oh no "and rub 1 out"