@stanleybehrman: Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean.
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@Donna_McCoy: My husband keeps watching a tv show while complaining about how boring it is, & now I understand how he's stayed married to me for so long.
@Tylerosis: There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons.
@JGrumbie: Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite.