@jwoodham: Texting wasn't always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You better click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
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@matt___nelson: [start of interview] Me: hi sir nice to meet you *i go to shake is hand but spill his coffee everywhere* Interviewer: ...welcome to BP
@junejuly12: My friend returned a Tupperware container without the lid, so now I’m offering a reward for its safe return.