@NickSwardson: Thank god 4 the guy at the bar yelling "YOU GOTTA CATCH THAT!!!" when a receiver drops the ball. Had no idea he was supposed to catch it.
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@slimmy_shady: Me: "Get me a newspaper."Friend: "Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad." Poor spider never knew what hit it.
@Rollmaninoz: *coworker drinks coffee I made them* Me: I poisoned your coffee… Coworker: WHAT? Me:…with love! Coworker: oh haha me: The love for murder