@NickSwardson: Thank god 4 the guy at the bar yelling "YOU GOTTA CATCH THAT!!!" when a receiver drops the ball. Had no idea he was supposed to catch it.
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@sarcasm_inc: *at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER
@neiltyson: The perennially hyped name "Super Moon" insults the legacy of Superman, Super Volcanoes, Supernovae, and even Super Mario.
@better_off_dad: Her: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Me: *puts naked Barbie away. 'It's not VooDoo if that's what you think! Her:Freak! Me:Did you feel--anything?