@CulturedRuffian: Thank God all of Texas can un-pucker again while they sleep.
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@bashfulcoward: Girls love it when guys: - are respectful - are handsome - eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun
@PhilLaysheO: If a cougar left her teeth next to my bed in a glass of water was that a tip? Do I have to change the water? Do I feed them like goldfish?
@StarWarsProblms: Obi-wan: These aren't the droids Stormtrooper: They look like them Obi: So all droids look the same to you? Trooper: No, I- Obi: Racist
@cjwerleman: Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving.