@CulturedRuffian: Thank God all of Texas can un-pucker again while they sleep.
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@_SingleBabyMama: You don't realize how much you miss your privacy until you have a toddler hugging you the entire time you pee.
@weinerdog4life: I carry a bar of soap in my pocket so when someone tries to talk to me I can pull it out and say someone is paging me and leave.
@DirtMcTurd: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants
@DaddyJew: I'm at my creepiest when I see a drunk chick crying outside of a bar and just think 'bingo