@JesseFernandez: Thank god attorneys let us know they're attorneys "at law" so we don't assume they're attorneys at garlic bread or something.
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@PhilJamesson: Fortune Teller: I see a trip in your future Me [cancelling a week-long trip to Peru]: haha nope. wrong, idiot. [fall down stairs as I leave]
@Jabba_Jabba_Jaw: You can insult anyone you want, as long as you end the sentence with "but in a good way".
@thecrabbyhook: You know how one lie leads to another? Well, to cut a long story short, my 7yo daughter now thinks she's allergic to owls.