@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.
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@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
@Jake_Vig: POLICE: POLICE! OPEN UP! ME: My parents never loved me. POLICE: NOT EMOTIONALLY! OPEN THE DOOR! ME: That makes way more sense.
@MiahSaint: This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends.