@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.
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@FunnyMojoJojo: When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!
@Tommytoughstuff: Career day: Hi kids I'm Bills Dad and I work at the local morgue. Who wants to pet a dead body?"