@TheTweetOfGod: Thank Satan it's Monday.
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@green_eyed_doll: Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
@iwearaonesie: *walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope
@thesulk: Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again.
@DaHess1: Shout out to bicyclists that yell "on your left" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with.