@DannyZuker: Thank you for saying, "I'm just being honest" after that horrible thing you just said. I feel better now that I know you meant it.
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@KagroX: The Republicans haven't got a single candidate who could survive a Willie Wonka factory tour.
@WrongPandas: [at funeral] Me: "I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice" Widow: "please no.... Me: "you have my gondolances"
@Reverend_Scott: COP: PUT YOUR HANDS UP OCTOPUS: They're tentacles COP: OK PUT ALL 8 TENTACLES UP OCTOPUS: Two are my legs, dude COP: Just go. I give up.