@msdanifernandez: Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
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@TheTweetOfGod: Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions.
@dubiousrhetoric: VERY difficult to convince the apple store people that you've only ever dropped your phone 3 times if you dropped it twice in the store.
@Kodotropo: *dad walks in on me doing homework* "HAH NERD MORE LIKE HOMOWORK" Dad you're still in third grade "Probably because I'm not a nerd like you"
@WowYoureFunny: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3x while carrying me to the car!