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@putopao: Thank you, Internet.
@Home_Halfway: ME: Hey you haven't talked to me lately, are you mad at me
FRIEND: No things are just really awful
ME: Oh thank god
@rickkondell: I lost a good friend today, he asked me to pick up some non-alcoholic beer.
@SamGrittner: People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig.
@theshantilly: Be kind to strangers. One of them could end up being your coroner.
@ladymisskate: Doormats are a gateway rug.