@weinerdog4life: Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years.
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@JohnHilsen: I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults.
@pointsymmetric: One man. One tuba. A whole public library full of unsuspecting people. And no law enforcement anywhere in sight.
@librarianfonz: It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
@WKirkMarshall: (meeting for naming cereal) "List the ingredients; maybe we'll get inspired." "Honey, bunches of oats–" "I think we're done here."