@goldengateblond: Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn't stop that murder.
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@mattgallo123: Not to brag, but according to this food packaging I just ate enough fancy cashews to serve 638 people.
@AceMakesWords: "Dad, we need to talk." "Alright." He grabs a chair and sits. "Dad, you-" He grabs yet another chair. "DAMMIT DAD YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CHAIRS"
@notacroc: Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda