@stanleybehrman: Thank you Twitter for introducing me to brilliant people , but your suggestions of who is similar to me is making me reassess my life.
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@DelanieFischer: One of my favorite things about Walmart: the impulse buy is no longer a breathmint, it's an entire rotisserie chicken.
@JennyPentland: Maybe stop asking 20yo beauty queens how to solve problems the government hasn't even been able to figure out in 200 years?
@david8hughes: [board meeting] "So Mr Parachute do you have a name for your invention?" "I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'." "No."
@TheBoydP: I don’t understand how anyone could be a grave robber. How do you steal a six foot hole?