@stanleybehrman: Thank you Twitter for introducing me to brilliant people , but your suggestions of who is similar to me is making me reassess my life.
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?
@skullmandible: when I played the Sims if a sim got hungry/tired I'd just delete them and replace them with a copy who was content so maybe no kids for me
@iwearaonesie: my wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can't see the mailbox when she's backing up?