@jackiembouvier: Thanks, baby Jesus, for helping me get that new job instead of helping millions of children find water and food. I know it was a tough call.
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@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late 5) Too many dragons 4) Out of dragons 3) I'm not late, Steve is 2) Time is fake 1) Made a list of excuses
@nPhelendriqal: This looks like a job for.. *I rip open my jacket* Jacket Repair Man! *I sew my jacket back together*