@tchrquotes: thanks, but I'M TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO BE HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS STOP IT
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@stephenjmolloy: Cop: "You have one call - make it important!" *phone* Me: "I've been arrested for making prank calls." Man: "Who is this?" Me: "Hugh Jass."
@lanyardtwerk: Caught my food taking a picture of me. When I confronted it, it said it was for its people blog? What a creep.
@ComedicBust: Whenever I wear a suit I spend the entire time talking into my collar and sleeve, because if I’m going to be uncomfortable, I’m going to at least pretend to be a spy.