@motrboatr: Thanks, but it's spelled "sexiest", not "sexist". Stupid woman.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Not sure video Instagram is a good idea. I've never looked at a picture of someone's dinner and thought, "If only I could hear this."
@StellaRtwot: I appreciate when aerobic instructors say "Don't forget to breathe" because I sometimes forget and then I die.
@TheBoydP: The hardest part of being a dog is not understanding why squirrels don’t want to play with you.
@timdonakowski: Sorry neighbor who’s choking to death, my cat's resting his little head on my leg. This, like, never happens.