@BadaBinge: Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a "homeless romantic".
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@Juicedballs: My wife dared me to yell out "HURRY UP HAYDEN" at Disney World. Now we have 27 blonde boys & 8 girls following us like Children of the Corn.
@goldengateblond: Kids today don't know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
@jonnysun: *at the movie theater* umm ok the hackers also said theyd do a terror unless u giv me unlimited free popcorn and uh.. also that guys popcorn
@preawsaurus: it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.