@sixfootcandy: Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
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@robdelaney: Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die.
@BreadFoster: I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.
@aaronnemo: Me: You're the only one who truly gets me. Chipotle guy: What? Me: I said chicken. Chicken burrito.
@murrman5: yes lassie? "bark" Timmy's in the well and you pissed in my slippers and you told me about Timmy first so I wouldn't get mad "bark" smart