@sixfootcandy: Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
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@PastorBate: [Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome "Can you use it in a sentence?" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog.
@samalmightysam: Hi, I'm your car's radio. I'll be playing terrible music during your trip, but once you get out of the car I'll play your favorite song.
@Brianhopecomedy: UGH, I was planning this big romantic dinner for two and then my wife called to say she'd be home.
@SortaBad: Sorry I can't come to your thing tonight, I'm too busy figuring out an excuse about why I can't come to your thing next week