@Sassafrantz: Thanks for putting your kid on the phone so he could say hi. It changed my life.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why is there a baseball bat under your bed? Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball?
@murrman5: can you start monday at 8? "yes, thank you for the opportunity" [calls new boss at his home on sunday night] hello? "am or pm?"
@Darlainky: Like most major sports injuries, almost all Rock, Paper, Scissors injuries occur because of insufficient stretching before the match.