@iwearaonesie: "Thanks for saving my life" said no toddler ever
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first ME: The baby giraffe broke the TV WIFE: We don't have a- ME: Aaaaand now the good news
@PetrickSara: Me: Who drew the picture? 8: I can't remember her name. Me: You memorize 200 Pokémon but you don't remember the kids names in class? 8: 213
@lovemydogduck: Getting shit done. Was my response when my boss ask me what I'm doing. And now I'm sitting outside of H.R.
@Sassafrantz: My boss at Walmart said I have to stop Febreezing the homeless and that they aren't homeless, they're customers.