@5hael: Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward
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@senderblock23: (commercial for drugs) Man: Nothing is working out in my life VO: Have you tried drugs? Man: (startled) Who said that Narrator: "Drugs"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Hey chicks who wear a buttload of make-up. Don't borrow someone else's iPhone to make a call. You leave half of your face on the screen.
@Lisabug74: My cat and I made a best friend pact tonight. If I die first, he won't eat my body. Or if he dies first, I won't use his skull as a cup.
@BuckyIsotope: *learns all Froot Loops are the same flavor regardless of color* *sighs* *sadly deletes 583 page PhD thesis*