@5hael: Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Steelers1972: Just hung a picture of Steve Buscemi over my daughters toothbrush to ensure proper brushing.
@MariyaAlexander: Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die
@WaltzingRhino: E-Mail: Drive her wild in the bedroom. Me: Feh...I'll drive her wild in the kitchen *Re-arranges the dishwasher.
@cornlog: So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday.