@JohnLyonTweets: Thanks for telling me this is your "pet cat" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat.
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@ArfMeasures: CARPET SALESMAN: [sighing, handing me another sample] What about this one for your bedroom? ME: Hmmm no that one is also far too small
@korryduke: Do you smell smoke? I always say that when I fart. It makes people take a deep breath.
@sween: When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?... hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."