@underchilde: Thanks for telling me to take some ibuprofen for my headache, hotshot. If we're ever in an apocalypse and need a doctor, I'm nominating you!
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@pancakemixtape: It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band.
@teenpuke: *cute person sends me a selfie* *tries 897285623895 times to take a cute selfie to send back to them*
@Dawn_M_: I wrote "except zombies" on my welcome mat so I know I'll be safe during a zombie apocalypse.
@hippieswordfish: [preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*