@GaryJanetti: Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!
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@markleggett: A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel.
@KalvinMacleod: [skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea.
@UNTRESOR: Doctors just told me I have "stripper lung" from inhaling too much brass polish & if I go back to "JIGGLERS" again I'll die.