@GaryJanetti: Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!
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@RealJinjaNinja: Three steps to start a relationship. 1- buy a sheep 2- name it "relation" 3- now you have a relationsheep.
@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
@krustythe_klown: A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says "youre going to hell". The bum yells "Damn, Im on the wrong bus" ! :D