@SCbchbum: Thanks for warning me to be careful after I slipped & fell. I'll be sure to wish you luck on your lab test results at your funeral.
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@SCbchbum: The directions on every jar of anti-aging cream should read: “Apply liberally to face & neck 20 years ago.”
@LADaddy: [At the stress test, staring at a treadmill] Dr.: Just run at a speed where you can still talk normally. *sits down on a chair* Me: Okay.
@vornietom: When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me No